The Obligatory Pilot in a Dress Fic
by sabrielrose
Summary: A certain pilot has to go undercover as a female. Said pilot is not amused. Another pilot is feeling mischievious and frisky.
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gundam Wing, blah, blah, blah. You know the deal.

**Warning:** Here there be slash. And cross dressing. And Wufei torture.

**Chapter 1**

Discovering One's Inner Female

"No. Absolutely not. I refuse."

"You can't. I'm sorry but there is no other way to do this."

Deceptively slender hands slammed down on a large mahogany desk. "There must be another way! There are plenty of other qualified _female_ agents in this organization, why can't you just pick one of them?"

Lady Une, head of the Preventers, rubbed her temples in exasperation and let out a breath to remain patient. "Wufei, we've been over this before. You and Sally have been gathering information on this case for months. No one knows it inside out like you two. But with Preventer Po's leg injury, she won't be able to participate in the actual capture as planned."

"I know this. But why can't you assign a female agent to replace her?"

"Because frankly, Chang, you scare the other agents."

Clearly, not expecting this answer, Chang Wufei looked startled. "What?"

"Your activities from the Wars and your further exploits as a Preventer have made you something of a legend around here. The others see you, as someone to emulate."

Wufei crossed his arms and looked skeptical.

Lady Une smirked. "It's true. And with your _charming _personality, the combination is enough to make them feel intimidated by you. It is of vital importance that this mission goes off without a hitch, and I don't want you partnered with someone who is too busy worrying what you think of them to pay attention to what is going on. And no, Noin is not an option. She and Milliardo Peacecraft have their hands full with their own case."

Faced with something he could not argue the logic of, Wufei did the something very unlike him. He abandoned dignity and made a last bid for freedom.

"I can't do something like this! How can you expect me to do this? And especially with him! It's unthinkable! I can't! I won't!"

"You are a professional Preventer Chang! You are to do your job and do it well, and if that requires that you dress as a woman and pretend to be the wife of another man, then you will damn well do it and get the job done! That's an order!" Commander Une stood behind her desk, chair pushed back, and hands braced apart on the desk, with a stormy expression on her face.

Being the smart man that he is, Wufei recognized that this was a good time to accept defeat and retreat. Fast. Gritting his teeth he managed a "Yes Ma'am" and walked stiffly out the door, past Noin who was entering with some files under her arm.

The purple haired woman strolled into the office and placed the files on the desk in front of Une. Raising an eyebrow she asked, "So, I'm guessing you told him about the changes?"

Lady Une sank back into her chair allowing a slight smile on her lips. "Oh, yes. He wasn't exactly . . . pleased with the situation."

"Poor Duo."

* * *

Chang Wufei, only heir of the Dragon Clan, scholar, former gundam pilot, and youngest preventer, scowled at his reflection in the mirror and contemplated how he got himself into this situation.

He decided all the blame rested solely upon the shoulders of one Sally Po, who had been inconsiderate enough to break her leg in a freak accident involving a spatula and the microwave, thus forcing him to do something that was so degrading, and embarrassing, and…and…._unmanly_!

Glaring at his reflection he wondered why it had to be him who played the woman. _That man's_ (he refused to say the name!) hair was long enough and was the envy of plenty of women. But no, he had to dress as a girl because his features were more _suited_ to it. What a revolting insult. He couldn't believe he was doing this. Wufei's self pity party was interrupted when he was jolted out of his staring contest by the sound of the doorbell.

He turned and made his way down the corridor of his apartment to the front door. He peered through the peephole, then jerked the door open with a scowl his face. "You're late."

"Well hello to you to, Wufei," grinned Sally Po with crutches under her arms, her left leg in a cast, and a small duffle bag over her right shoulder. "Ready to get all gussied up for your man?"

"Just get in!" he hissed, while peering outside to make sure no one heard that comment.

Sally just laughed and made her way to the bedroom.

Wufei shut the door and followed his partner to find her busy spreading certain _things_ on his bedspread.

"Alright, first things first. You're going to have to get rid of your leg hair, armpit hair and shape your eyebrows. I recommend waxing since I doubt you'll want to have to constantly tweeze and shave. You're not that hairy to begin with, so we don't have to worry about chest or back hair."

Wufei only scowled and resolved to grow a beard as soon as the mission was over.

Sally straightened and held a pink box in her hand and a decidedly sadistic smile on her face. "Lets get you waxed Wufei!"

* * *

Wufei emerged from the bathroom with various body parts sore and stinging. Sally hobbled out after him and said brightly, "That wasn't so bad!"

She received a scowl in return.

Ignoring her victim's less than enthusiastic response, Sally held out a garment. "Put it on and let's see how it looks."

Wufei took one look at it and his masculinity immediately rebelled. "I refuse! I'm not wearing that!"

"You have to if you're going to be a convincing woman! Women have breasts, Wufei, and you won't look like one without it and the mission will fail!"

Failure being unacceptable to the proud warrior, he sullenly took off his tank top and snatched the stuffed bra out of Sally's hands and put it on.

"You should put the shirt back on so I can see how it looks under clothes," she instructed.

He slid the tank top back on, and turned to look at himself in the mirror.

It was terrible.

"Wow Wufei! You look great!" exclaimed Sally.

Unbelievable. All it took was some padding and he looked like a female. Wufei's ego was beginning to feel extremely bruised.

I've dropped off your measurements with a list of the types of clothes you'll be wearing at headquarters, so they should have them ready for you to pick up in a day. Nothing sleeveless, since your biceps are a little too big to be feminine, but other than that you can pretty much wear anything."

And Wufei's ego was now a flattened pancake after being steamrolled under Sally's compliments.

Oblivious to the verbal murder she'd just committed, Sally patted the space next to her on the bed, "Now, I'm going to teach you how to put on makeup so pay attention."

Oh joy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings/Disclaimers:** See first chapter

**To My Reviewers:** Thank you so much for your encouraging comments. I'm not writer; this is just something for fun, so knowing that someone appreciates what I've written is very good to know. Special thanks to Penbee of Treewood (my first reviewer!). Your comments about the writing, characterization, and enjoyment of the story made me a very happy author. I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as the first!

**Chapter 2**

**Enter Prince Charming**

There was a something different in the Preventers Headquarters in the morning. Something that had a startling effect on the women (and certain men) who worked in the building. There were giggles, and blushes, and stares, and whispered conversations in small huddled groups.

The reason for this change was not a something, but a someone. Someone tall, with a lean build, long legs encased in black jeans and black boots, a broad shouldered torso covered in a high collared white shirt, and black jacket, with the sleeves rolled up passed the elbows, exposing strong forearms and hands with palms that were perfect for cupping certain, ahem, things. The face, ah the face, had a strong jaw line, high cheekbones, and violet eyes capable of conveying any emotion with a single glance. The hair though, was what caught most people's attention. A rich, reddish brown hue, it hung in a long, thick braid down to a temptingly firm derriere. This delicious creature's name was Maxwell, Duo Maxwell.

The former self styled 'God of Death', strode into the lobby perfectly aware of the affect he had on people and milked it for all he was worth. He added an extra swagger to his step, and flashed his pearly whites as he made his way through the security checks and into the inner sanctum of Preventer Headquarters.

Duo Maxwell did not have a pleasant childhood, or adolescence, what with being an orphan, and saving the world. He and the other pilots had been thrust into the roles of adults far too early and never had the chance to experience growing up in a normal environment. 02 was definitely making up for it now. He finally had the chance to relax and enjoy life's pleasures (guilty and otherwise), and he took full advantage of it.

Duo came to a stop before the large information desk and smiled at the woman seated behind it. "Well hello there. I haven't seen you before. I'm Duo Maxwell," he said leaning slightly over the desk on his elbows.

The secretary immediately blushed upon seeing the handsome man in front of her. "Oh, ah, I-I'm filling in temporarily. Duo Maxwell you said? There's a message for you."

A pause while the two stare at each other.

Duo leaned over until his face was very close to hers, and quietly asked, "Aren't you going to give it to me?"

"G-give it t-to..?"

He leaned a little closer, "The message."

The secretary, if possible, became even redder. "Oh! Oh! Right! Yes, of course, sorry! You're to wait in conference room 2B."

Duo slowly leaned back, still maintaining eye contact. "Thank you very much," he glanced down at the placard in front of her, "Susan. I'll see you around." And with a wink and a smile, the braided man sauntered away.

As he rounded the corner, he heard an appreciative sigh come from behind him.

Yes, it was good to be Duo Maxwell.

* * *

Duo Maxwell was bored. Bored, bored, BORED. He was by himself in the conference room, since the actual meeting wasn't to begin for a few minutes. The room was dominated by a large oval table, upon which sat a jug of water and some paper cups, surrounded by grey swivel chairs. The four walls were stark white, and behind the head of the table was an automated projector screen, and computer setup. There were large windows along one wall, and the muted sounds of a busy office space filtered in through the door. _The budget must not extend to interior decorating._

Tired and feeling a little sick from spinning around in his chair, Duo got up to stretch cramped muscles, and walked over to look out the window. Not that there was much to look at. Just more of the steel jungle, with the sunlight glinting off the metallic structures deluding one into believing they might be in a city of gold.

He was looking forward to this mission. Hell, he looked forward to every mission. Duo did not join the preventers after the war, but decided instead to go into business with Hilde on L2. But Une had convinced him to be something of a 'part-time' preventer, since his experience and history had made him an invaluable tool in the fight to now maintain the shaky peace gained in the war. Not that Duo minded. He had been happy to finally be able to get away from the fighting and start living a normal life, but he soon discovered that he sometimes missed the adrenaline rush of a fight, having to think fast and smart in a moment, the knowledge that one wrong move would get him killed, or worse captured.

So this arrangement suited him perfectly. He lived a (mostly) trouble free life, and whenever he got antsy, an assignment with the preventers would come along to satisfy his itch, and be for a worthy cause so he wouldn't feel like some kind of weirdo.

His sharp ears caught a shuffling sound outside the door, and he turned to face it just as the knob was hesitantly turned.

A big 'Christmas-has-come-early-for-me!' grin appeared on his face as he saw the person who stepped inside.

"_Pretty woman, walking down the street, Pretty woman, the kind I'd like to meet, Pretty wo_-Oomph!"

His serenade was abruptly cut off as he received a fist to his gut courtesy of the 'pretty woman' who was actually a Chinese man in a dress, currently standing threateningly over Duo's bent over form, daring him to say another word so he could pound him into the ground.

**A/N:** I know this update was waaayyyyy late. I'm sorry! You see, I'm very lazy, plus I don't really have a definite outline so I just have to wait for and idea to float my way. Also I know this chapter is pretty short, and not much happens in the way of moving the story along, but I wanted to do something in Duo's POV, and it turned into a sort of peak into his personality (or just idiotic fangirling on my part). But fear not! Wufei the cross dresser shall return in his entire hissy fit throwing glory next chapter.


End file.
